I have been in a relationship for over eleven years now. It started right about when I entered college. She tapped me on my shoulder and whispered in my ear sweet nothings about how I didn’t belong there. We hit it off instantly and she would be with me every step of the way. I remember the night when I had failed to get an internship and the semester was ending. She looked in my eyes, held my hand and promised me that she would never leave my side.
I have tried to break it off with her a couple of times but have failed miserably. I won’t be exaggerating when I say that she has pushed me to the brink and I have considered ways to end my life just so I could get rid of her. She is omnipresent and has become a part of my subconscious. Her name is Anxiety.
A couple of years ago she introduced me to one of her friends, Panic Attack. I don’t like him one bit. I try to avoid meeting him as much as possible. Right around the time that I met him, I decided that I had to take the help of a counsellor. This arrangement had become too toxic and I had to do something about it. We have been seeing the counsellor for a while now. With her help, I have been able to break out of her powerful grip. It took a while but she doesn’t have the same effect on me anymore. She’s still there, lurking, but I have been able to lock her in a room. This way I can go about my life and have a good time without her bothering me. Sometimes she peeks out of the window and pleads her case and begs me to take her back. I think about how much better my life is without her riding like Betal on my back and ignore her. It has not been easy, but it is possible nonetheless. I let her in and I can keep her out, for as long as I want.