I look around me as the team goes over their introductions. I begin to notice institutes, grades, internships, faces, and the people fade into the background. I check in with myself to understand the way I feel. I notice a sense of enough-hood crop up.
Enough-hood, I think about the term I coined. A word formed from questions I am scared to voice out. If you were to Google ‘hood’, you would learn that the suffix means the condition of being. My word then became an adverb, “Am I enough?” I could hear that echo through myself as I listened. I chose to pause and held toward a quiet realization. The individuals I work with may be more skilled than I am in their own niches. I grow as I work with them. I did not have to measure my worth through competition. I am allowed to grow through collaboration. Slowly, I attempt to distance myself from the ladder in my head. I am not on a lower rung. I am on the rung where my abilities and privilege allow me to be for now. I will scale at my own pace, and the individuals I work with foster safe spaces through the process.
Enough-hood. I circle back to the word, the condition of being enough. I wonder if everyone else has had this thought run through their minds.
Will I be enough? I am allowed to hold infinite hope for myself. I make space for growth, and I look up to see faces surface, humanness comes forth, and the credentials fade.